little miss field mouse

I've had such a week...

Saturday I went to Psych fest and got to see the Jesus and Mary Chain! AAAhhh!!!It was muddy and it reeked out there and everything was so different...I ran into an interesting couple from Kansas and I hung out with them for a while.One was around my age and reminded me of a friend I used to know and the lady was very beautiful and a lot older.  I saw my ex-boyfriend and I proceeded to ignore him justly. I wish I had talked to him. I feel lonely sometimes, I had no one to really talk to at the festival. I felt alone...I walked near him and realized how strange it is to be walking next to someone I knew such intimate, intimate details about. Walking next to him like a perfect stranger

Sunday I sat around waiting like a fool.

Monday I hung out with a ginger haired man, he fed me grilled pork and chicken with a baked potato and broccoli. The food was wonderfully savory and I washed it down with some beer..He was nice and fun and his roommate made interesting art, which I offered to buy, haha. 

Tuesday I hung out with my friend M. We sat in the balcony seats at the movie theatre and saw this movie. I described it as something I saw on cable t.v. as a child and somehow the aesthetic always stuck with me. He, as usual, was nice and funny and sweet.

Yesterday, something really scary happened to me..

So, I met with a man yesterday. I felt that something may not be right, but I decided to push my limits anyways. I wanted to know how far I could go. His apartment was so clean, and masculine. Minimalist. I really liked it.A large filled up bookshelf, plain wooden furniture. Plain everything. The music he was playing though didn't fit in the atmosphere at all.  He poured me a glass of bourbon to drink. I tugged at my dress nervously, and began to ask him questions about plants and trees. He seemed very friendly and helpful, but the way his eyes roamed over me like a calculating animal made me feel panicked and strange. Finally, I went to the restroom. As soon as I came out, he pounced on me. He was *very* rough and I was caught off guard. He had me get on my knees and I choked and coughed on my spit and bile. I couldn't breath and I was scared. He began to bite my nipples, tearing at them and hurting them, squeezing so hard I thought they would pop. I was so so scared. I told him to take it a bit easier. Not so hard, I begged...he spun me around and pulled my hair up and then yanked my face downwards and tried to stick it in my ass. I cried and told him no. I wasn't ready for that. I freaked the fuck out.He put his fingers in my mouth and yanked back while he fucked me. He whipped me with a  riding crop and spanked me hard on my breasts and ass and pussy. It hurt very much. I wasn't sure what to think. I felt turned on at some moments...but mostly I was frightened.Something was really off about him....I've had some experience with this before but somehow I couldn't handle it. I didn't feel safe. We talked a bit and I made an excuse and went home. I'm glad I left because as soon as I did, I started sobbing.